Judgement. 

We as the human beings we are, have a immense addiction to instantly judge others based on physical looks. One can be attractive but a mess inside. One can look ugly to you but really be your so called "soul mate". Let's face it, in this world- it ALL depends on looks. Yes, many people talk about this topic of judge someone instantly, but I for one have never fully embraced what the meaning of truly judging someone is- that is until recently. I am the kind of person that does judge a book by the cover- metaphorically and literally- and I do not deny that fact. I was looking at a large variety of books today when I went to a library I have never been to, and I found myself doing what I always do- reading the title and looking at the front before even reading the inside flap. There is a process really- I start by looking at the title on the spine- if it doesn't interest me, I keep going. If the title is remotely interesting, I pull out the book half way off the shelf to get a semi good look at the cover. If the cover design doesn't "meet my interests"- if you will- I keep going. This system is one that I repeat for basically every book on the shelf. So I have been doing this system for basically my whole book searching career, so what changed today you might ask, and I will give you a answer- my best friend. I love my best friend- she is the most unique person I have ever met. She snorts, laughs, points, makes purring/ "grrr" sounds (some times I  honestly can't tell which one it is) and she is a simply wonderful person let alone a wonderful friend. She is faithful, honorable and everything you would want in a best friend- but there is a draw back. This girl who has every best friend quality you would want- is dare I say it- attractive. I love her as a best friend and nothing more- but I have to watch other guys practically drool over her. This gets annoying- let me tell you. She deserves to be appreciated for everything she has to offer- which is a lot- but the thing is that these guys drool over what she looks like and the fact that she is very flirtatious- but they don't really realize who she is. You could say that I am jealous- and I guess I am. She naturally receives the attention of the opposite sex. I guess that men are hard wired to be drawn to the best attractive, best looking part of the population of the opposite sex for survival and all that good stuff. So I watch as she dances and laughs and flirts with out even being aware that she is doing it and I watch as the opposite sex admire all that they have before them- so to speak. Yes there are things that set me apart from my friend. a) body type and height- I am shorter and slightly more "stocky" where is she taller and more evenly distributed- kind of. b) she takes care of her self- I pull my uncontrollable thick hair (beautiful but has a mind of it own) in a pony tail almost every day and I don't wear mascara, eye liner, ectr.- nothing at all. She ALWAYS wears stuff on her face, her hair straight or rarely in a braid. c) naturally she is flirtatious and is loud and naturally has a confidence to her- I... not so much. I am more cautious, quieter, and blush a lot! So I guess that I do have somethings that I can change in order to receive some kind of attention- but the question is- do I have to change?? Do I have to wear stuff on my face to hide my rebellious pores? Must I straighten my hair so that you can no longer tell by my hair how high the humidity is outside? Must I flirt endlessly with someone who might have the ever so slight chance of have some kind of chemistry with me? I have had this debate going on in my head for sometime and I have to say- I honestly don't know. I think that it is good to take care of yourself, and be all that you can be- but when do you stop being all that YOU can be and when do you start being what others want to see you be? 

 

So I have decided that when my mind continues to turn this whole concept over and over again looking for new clues that can help me come to a solution- I going to try to pull out a book or two randomly- yes I said it- I am going to risk the chance of pulling out a truly horrible book- but then again, that randomly chosen book could be my book soul mate...:) 

To be continued... 

Alice 

P.S.- "The absence of flaw in beauty is itself a flaw." - Havelock Ellis