A man and a women stand seperated, They are different yet the same 

The woman stands looking at the man with a look of disappointment. The man looks over the balcony, towards they horizon, to ashamed to face her. 

He feels her eyes look upon him with disappointment rather than anger. They stand like that for a while, he hopelessly staring into nothing, in the hope that his eyes won't turn to her and reveal the truth. 

 Her hands quietly by her sides, her back standing straight but not with strength but with strain, her once light with life now turn shallow with disbelief.  

As they stand there people below them on the street keep walking, completely oblivious to the two destroyed people standing above them. That's what they are- simply destroyed. They have been broken and injured, leaving them unmended.  

They stand and try to figure out who've they've become. They stand there and try to remember what it was like to be a whole person, just walking down the street completely oblivious of the people around them. They have been forgotten.  

The world simply forgot about them and now the world goes on and the people on the streets go on, walking up the street unaware of what has been broken. 

I know this is kind of cheesy but it almost Valentine's Day- a time when anyone can get away with extreme quesoso (gracias Senora Fahey) and this is my piece of cliche-ness and cheesiness. 

(Story above inspired by Sabrina with Audrey Heoburn and Humphry Bougart- written 12/13/08) 

Alice 

 

Alice 

Two people walk down a road together, hand in hand. People called them "peanut butter and jelly", Romeo and Juliet. The man and the woman loved each other and have always loved each other. They made each other smile and when they looked at each other, their eye's would dance. Soon after they first met, they got married, and did everything together. They would wake up together every morning and the man would make cook two omelets and butter the toast, while the woman would make coffee and get the paper from down the road. They spent all of their time together, and not one minute apart. Their life together was a living fairy tale. As the years went by, the woman and the man started a family together and the woman believed that they would continue living a perfect life. Everything was fine for a few years, but when their first child was born, the woman saw some changes in the man. He would leave for hours at a time and he constantly was talking to himself about the neighbors spying on them.The woman ignored this all and went on believing in her dream of a perfect life. As the couple welcomed two more children into their lives, the man started to deteriorate.  The woman would come home to find the man taking apart the bathroom, claiming he was looking for the hidden cameras the neighbors were using to spy on him. The woman would be drying dishes in the kitchen and would look out the window to see the man on the bench outside, alone, and talking to himself out loud. The woman still believed in the perfect life, until she woke up in the middle of the night once, to find her husband curled up in a ball, in the corner of the kitchen. he went to him and asked him if he was alright. He continued to stare straight ahead, and the woman heard him whisper over and over again " ...they are coming for me...they are spying for me...they are coming for me...they are spying on me...". Now the woman stood by and watched the man pace and mutter to himself constantly. The woman sat down on a wooden bench and looked on as the man paced and muttered, as if he was in his own world and she didn't exist. A single tear rolled down the woman's cheek and the woman's hand flew up to wipe it away. Her hand then rested on the back of the bench. She felt a indent in the bench and her fingers traced familiar markings. She looked up and recognized a carved heart with the man's and the woman's initials in the shape. They had sat together on this bench several times in the past and one night, as the woman remembered, the man had asked her to marry him. After she had given a tearful yes, they had carved the shape of a heart with their initials in this same bench to declare their love for each other. That was when the woman believed in a perfect life and the woman now realized how her love for the man had not changed. The woman loved the man and always would no matter what happened. The woman stood up and walked over to the man, and gently placed her hand on his shoulder. The man quickly threw her hand off his shoulder and starred at her as if she had punched him. They starred at each other and the woman looked into the man's eyes. These are the eyes of a wild animal, the woman thought, a stranger's eyes, but not the eye's of the man I love. The man looked at her now with a gentle expression and softened eyes. He said softly that they should start walking back now because it was starting to get dark. The woman smiled and placed her hand on the man's shoulder. This time though he did not resist her hand, but placed her hand in his and started on their way home. The man and the woman walked back down the road together together, hand in hand. 

By: Alice Merkel 

"Love is everything it's cracked up to be...It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for." -Erica Jong

Water. 

I see. 

I see the water beneath me, the waves gently crashing into each other. I look up at the sky and wonder what heaven must look like. 

I hear. 

I hear the cars rush past me crossing the bridge. Everyone is so consumed with them- 

selves that no one notices me standing up there. 

I watch. 

I watch as my hand releases its grip on the cable next to me. My feet seem to move by themselves as they take a step closer to the edge of the hand rail. 

I feel. I feel the wind blow past me as I jump. I feel the coldness of the dark waves as they engulf me. 

I see. 

I see the sky disappear as I sink farther into the darkness. 

I hear. 

I hear sweet silence. 

I want. 

I want to feel this sense of peace all around me. 

I feel.  

I feel the sorrow leave me as I shut my eyes and accept the darkness. 

By: Alice Merkel 

"The place where optimism most flourishes is the insane asylum." :Unknown Author

I see. 

I see a thin woman walking away from me. 

I see her red coat twisting and turning behind in the wind. 

I see her burnett curls bounce on her shoulders. 

I hear.

I hear her heels clicking against the sidewalk. 

I hear the sounds of people talking all around me. 

I hear taxi drivers slamming on their brakes. 

I touch. I touch the shoulder of the person in front of me as I rush past them. 

I touch the ground as I run towards her. 

I touch her shoulder gently. 

I taste. 

I taste the air as I run. 

I taste the scents of hot dogs, car exhaust, different perfumes of the people around me. 

I taste her. 

I feel.

I feel sweat start to roll down my back. 

I feel people brush past me with annoyance. 

I feel my heart burst with love when my eyes met hers. 

By Alice Merkel 

"To love and be loves is to feel the sun on both sides." : David Viscott

 

Judgement. 

We as the human beings we are, have a immense addiction to instantly judge others based on physical looks. One can be attractive but a mess inside. One can look ugly to you but really be your so called "soul mate". Let's face it, in this world- it ALL depends on looks. Yes, many people talk about this topic of judge someone instantly, but I for one have never fully embraced what the meaning of truly judging someone is- that is until recently. I am the kind of person that does judge a book by the cover- metaphorically and literally- and I do not deny that fact. I was looking at a large variety of books today when I went to a library I have never been to, and I found myself doing what I always do- reading the title and looking at the front before even reading the inside flap. There is a process really- I start by looking at the title on the spine- if it doesn't interest me, I keep going. If the title is remotely interesting, I pull out the book half way off the shelf to get a semi good look at the cover. If the cover design doesn't "meet my interests"- if you will- I keep going. This system is one that I repeat for basically every book on the shelf. So I have been doing this system for basically my whole book searching career, so what changed today you might ask, and I will give you a answer- my best friend. I love my best friend- she is the most unique person I have ever met. She snorts, laughs, points, makes purring/ "grrr" sounds (some times I  honestly can't tell which one it is) and she is a simply wonderful person let alone a wonderful friend. She is faithful, honorable and everything you would want in a best friend- but there is a draw back. This girl who has every best friend quality you would want- is dare I say it- attractive. I love her as a best friend and nothing more- but I have to watch other guys practically drool over her. This gets annoying- let me tell you. She deserves to be appreciated for everything she has to offer- which is a lot- but the thing is that these guys drool over what she looks like and the fact that she is very flirtatious- but they don't really realize who she is. You could say that I am jealous- and I guess I am. She naturally receives the attention of the opposite sex. I guess that men are hard wired to be drawn to the best attractive, best looking part of the population of the opposite sex for survival and all that good stuff. So I watch as she dances and laughs and flirts with out even being aware that she is doing it and I watch as the opposite sex admire all that they have before them- so to speak. Yes there are things that set me apart from my friend. a) body type and height- I am shorter and slightly more "stocky" where is she taller and more evenly distributed- kind of. b) she takes care of her self- I pull my uncontrollable thick hair (beautiful but has a mind of it own) in a pony tail almost every day and I don't wear mascara, eye liner, ectr.- nothing at all. She ALWAYS wears stuff on her face, her hair straight or rarely in a braid. c) naturally she is flirtatious and is loud and naturally has a confidence to her- I... not so much. I am more cautious, quieter, and blush a lot! So I guess that I do have somethings that I can change in order to receive some kind of attention- but the question is- do I have to change?? Do I have to wear stuff on my face to hide my rebellious pores? Must I straighten my hair so that you can no longer tell by my hair how high the humidity is outside? Must I flirt endlessly with someone who might have the ever so slight chance of have some kind of chemistry with me? I have had this debate going on in my head for sometime and I have to say- I honestly don't know. I think that it is good to take care of yourself, and be all that you can be- but when do you stop being all that YOU can be and when do you start being what others want to see you be? 

 

So I have decided that when my mind continues to turn this whole concept over and over again looking for new clues that can help me come to a solution- I going to try to pull out a book or two randomly- yes I said it- I am going to risk the chance of pulling out a truly horrible book- but then again, that randomly chosen book could be my book soul mate...:) 

To be continued... 

Alice 

P.S.- "The absence of flaw in beauty is itself a flaw." - Havelock Ellis

This week has been insane. I have four tests in a IN ROW tomorrow- and they are in all of my hardest classes of course- so why am I blogging when I should be studying you ask? The answer is simple- procrastination is key. I usually do not like to procrastinate, but when I tend to get tired/ "fired" and over whelmed like I am right now, I procrastinate BIG time. I also got rubber bands today for the left side of my mouth. You see I have braces, and have had them since last september. Today is different though because now I have a thick rubber band that connects the top of my mouth to the bottom- but heres the catch- I only have the annoying yank of the rubber band on one side of my mouth- and so my mouth is officially uneven, which drives the OCD part of me insane. I also printed A LOT of pictures today in photo, which was good. Anyway- I have to study I guess. Wish me luck! 

Alice 

"There is no substitute for strength of character, and no excuse for the lack of it" - Unknown

Oh boy... this week end has been VERY interesting! Yesterday I went to work. I work at Special Gifts in town since I was 14 and enjoy it, most of the time. Over this summer I didn't work at all, but I got back to working just before school started. So we had to "incidents" yesterday. First- we had this lady walk around the store for a long time, carrying a take out box with a plastic bag over it. I think she bought something eventually-  but of course I don't remember. Well, after she left, we realized that she had the  garlic smelling take out box in bag for a reason- what ever was in there was oily and had formed puddles everywhere through out the store. The second "incident" came when we had this little girl pick up and move virtually one of EVERYTHING in the front of the store to the back of the store. So, first we had a mini- heart attack when we realized that stuff was missing (we have a problem with shop lifting) and then we just got mad when we saw the little girls stash of stuff in the back. So after work I went home to have some pizza with some of my younger sister's (Martha's) friends, before I went to my friends house to watch The Princess Bride and have some brownies. This morning we all had waffles with coconut and berries, and then when all of my sisters friends left, my mom and Martha ended up going back to bed, while I had a mini- shooting spree! I had to shot an "open roll" of film- which means that we take pics of everything/anything we want, but we also had to take a pic of a letter. We do the "letter" project every year- everyone gets a letter, we all have to take a picture of the letter vertically, and with all of the pics we spell out "p-h-o-t-o-g-r-a-p-h-y. Do I got "g" which sucks- but all well! 

I also took some photo's using  my mom's video camera, which was fun! I used my mom's painters lamps to use artificial light because the natural light has been a little weird today! 

Anyway, my dad and older sister, Katy are coming over for dinner and I still have to do homework, finish the last 4 or 5 shots on my roll of film, and practice cello! 

So- see ya  later! 

Alice 

"We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done." -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow